dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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