No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
