i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
