How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
