So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
