we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
