normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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