Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
