Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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