Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
