I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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