whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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