SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
