Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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