id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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