went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
