Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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