i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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