Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
