mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
