He had one of those small greek statue penises
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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