i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize