rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
