Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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