I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
