I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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