He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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