Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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