my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
