You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
did you just send me my own nude
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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