Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
