Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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