Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
