If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
