he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
