I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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