Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
