I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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