Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
