The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
