yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize