why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
