So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize