Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize