he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
