you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
