I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
