So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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