Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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