it wasn't lemon gatorade
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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