super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
