i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
