I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize