dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
