are you still at the devil's house?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Boobs speak an international language.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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