Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
