The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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