take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
