So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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