Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
high people should be assigned attendants
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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