How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
