is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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