I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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